Crying In The Rain

Whoa...I never thought I wold ever get to experience this. But just now, like as in 15mins ago, I was "crying in the rain"...the feeling is very different.

I was away over the weekend for a corporate event and was back to KL yesterday late evening (Monday). It was a great weekend, great place, great people. I had an awesome time, in fact, it was the best time I have ever had in the last half year. Though only three days, but it was probably the best three days.

But when I got back to KL, everything changed for the worst. This is a "public blog" so I won't get into details here at this blog. But last night, at home, I was devastated. The emails I received was really sharper than a double-edged sword, pierced through my heart and truly..."cuts like a knife".

Woke up this morning feeling totally empty and didn't really know where to go and what to do next. I know I have a 2:30pm meeting and had some paper work to prepare and so, I did. By 1pm or so, I had to shower and get ready. That was when official work is done and with no more important paper work to think of...my mind went into depression mode again.

I cried while brushing my teeth. I cried while washing my face. And finally, I get to experience the ultimate in tears...I allowed myself to burst out while running the shower above my head. It was a good "Crying In The Rain" experience. Didn't take breakfast, didn't take lunch...no appetite.

Now, I am deeply hurt, lost and disappointed. I am not sure what I should do next. To allow it to happen (for 1-2mths) and stand the chance of loosing everything? Or to stop if from happening but will have to continue to endure coming challenges? Or to just slow things down and take it one step at a time?

Anyone got this song "Knife" by Rockwell? It was a popular hit sometime in the 80s. The lyrics...awesome.

Sigh...