Babyboss @ NuYou Magazine

The February issue of NuYou magazine featured concert pics of the recent TVXQ and SHE concerts. All images we taken by Babyboss Pictures team of photographers.

Special thanks to Babyboss Team @ TVXQ Concert :

Mang / Yap / Brian / Yin (assistant photographer) / BabyKJ (photo assistant / myself

Special thanks to Babyboss Team @ SHE Concert :
Caxton / Brian / Sandra / Yin (assistant photographer) / BabyKJ (photo assistant) / myself

Crying In The Rain

Whoa...I never thought I wold ever get to experience this. But just now, like as in 15mins ago, I was "crying in the rain"...the feeling is very different.

I was away over the weekend for a corporate event and was back to KL yesterday late evening (Monday). It was a great weekend, great place, great people. I had an awesome time, in fact, it was the best time I have ever had in the last half year. Though only three days, but it was probably the best three days.

But when I got back to KL, everything changed for the worst. This is a "public blog" so I won't get into details here at this blog. But last night, at home, I was devastated. The emails I received was really sharper than a double-edged sword, pierced through my heart and truly..."cuts like a knife".

Woke up this morning feeling totally empty and didn't really know where to go and what to do next. I know I have a 2:30pm meeting and had some paper work to prepare and so, I did. By 1pm or so, I had to shower and get ready. That was when official work is done and with no more important paper work to think of...my mind went into depression mode again.

I cried while brushing my teeth. I cried while washing my face. And finally, I get to experience the ultimate in tears...I allowed myself to burst out while running the shower above my head. It was a good "Crying In The Rain" experience. Didn't take breakfast, didn't take lunch...no appetite.

Now, I am deeply hurt, lost and disappointed. I am not sure what I should do next. To allow it to happen (for 1-2mths) and stand the chance of loosing everything? Or to stop if from happening but will have to continue to endure coming challenges? Or to just slow things down and take it one step at a time?

Anyone got this song "Knife" by Rockwell? It was a popular hit sometime in the 80s. The lyrics...awesome.

Sigh...

Knife, Cuts Like A Knife

Hmm...don't know why but suddenly just feel like singing this old song from the 80s...called "Knife" by Rockwell. Go search the lyrics on the net. Its very meaningful. I guess the song speaks of my heart now.

Have a listen...

Stress Is Inevitable

When I name this post, I do not mean that I have the capacity nor the wisdom to handle the matter. Neither am I writing as though I am giving any form of advice on the said matter. I am writing because some of you believe that I am very stressed out lately and I just want to take this opportunity to share a lil bit about "my stress stories".

Indeed, this last few months I have been subjected to immense stress, especially this last few weeks. Things seem to be turning around over, showing their unpleasant sides. During my recent medical check up, I asked my doctor about the sharp pains in my heart and he said, after reading my medical report, that the pains come from stress...either work or emotion. Knowing that my work load is still manageable, I believe its the latter that is causing the sharp pains in my heart.

Many things contribute to the stress I am experiencing lately. Yes, you name it...its probably in my list of "stress items". From work, to health, to money, to happiness, to religion, to relationship, to chuch matters, to peace, to future, to matters revolving around myelf...my role, my status, my duties, my commitment, my responsibilities, etc. I used to like what I am and enjoy being who I am. But lately, I seem to want to see some changes and some even say that my "taste" changed.

I used to like big cars, thus my huge BMW that I am driving now. But now, I prefer a small car to move around. I no longer want the branding of a BMW nor the glory. I just want a small car to serve my needs. Thats it. By the way, I have already placed an order for my new Suzuki Swift...should be arriving middle next week.

I used to be on fire for the church and when there is something going on in the church, you bet I'll be the first to arrive that evening. But now, I kinda want some time for myself, allowing myself to take up other non-church related opportunities. I don't seem to have that energy level to run here and run there for the church. Someone commented that I am backsliding from God. But is taking a break now after serving the ministry for 10 years "backsliding"? My pastors are pressuring me to deliver my duties but I really feel like handing over the baton to someone else. I need a break.

About my future...what will I be and where will I be...5 years down the road? Would I still come backk to the same house meeting the same people? Would I still be a photographer and running events? Would I still be subjected to the same types of stress I am experiencing now? Would life be better? Would life be more meaningful? How much will "change" take place?

Sometimes, I feel very lonely. Sometimes, I feel very hurt. Sometimes, I feel very disappointed with things. Sometimes, I just hide and cry. Sometimes, I feel...like quitting everything.

I live on the 17th floor of an average condominium here in KL and it has a breezy balcony with a nice view. And at 17 floors up, when you cry, you have the winds to accompany your tears as they roll off my cheeks. Sound waves fade away easily too, so nobody "hears" me!

I can't pour out everything here on this blog because of obvious reasons. Sigh. To all my "stress matters"...help me work things out. Your pressure is expected but do faithfully walk with me till I reach de-stress zone. I know its not easy but let's try. Once we reach that hopeful point, then you o' "stress matters" can be a part of my life and we can live harmoniously.

Stress has always been a part of everyone's life. Its about how you manage the stress. You can either make it your enemy and fight it out everyday. Or you can make it a part of your life, dilute it and make it "friendly".

Cheers

You Punch Me, I Nose Bleed

For the first time, I was (accidentally) punched on my left nose and it started to bleed "furiously". Fresh blood was on my mouth, face, chest, hands and "other places" as well. I knew I tore something inside the moment the impact came in but did not realise it would be this bad. Blood conveniently gushing out before I could even sit up straight.

And now, some 9 hours later, everything inside dry liao. And as I "explore" the inside of my left nose, all I can dig out are small "blocks" of almost dried blood clots!

My New Oakley Shades!!!

I was out on Wednesday (Feb13), to check out this supposedly cool Italian cafe called Izzi at Bukit Bintang for a coming birthday event that I am managing for this 16 year old girl. The place was...well, pretty cool. But that was not the best part of the day.

The 2nd best part of the day was this...I bought myself a pair of new shades from Oakley! I've always wanted a pair of Oakley but its very messy to switch from my specs to shades all the time. And so, guess what? The 3rd best part of the day...I got contact lens for myself!!! haha... I am new to contact lens and was struggling to put them on and take 'em off! Had to try a few times until my eyeballs turned red!!!

My contact lens are from Bio-Medic, apparently a lil more expensive than the more commonly used Bauch & Lomb. And my shades...Oakley Monster Dog (Matte Black Model #05-015). High Definition Optics® (HDO®) combines patented optics and Plutonite® lens material that provides 100% UV filtering and unsurpassed impact protection, with light transmission of only 18%. Cool. The bill (as per my receipt) was RM418-00 (excluding the contact lens).

And the best part of the day was..."dinner at DOME". And yes, I was at home on Valentine's Day. And no, I didn't get flowers for anyone.

This Chinese New "Rat" Year

Many things happened during this Chinese New Year week. Things that almost changed my life. In fact, many things happened, especially this last one month. Life has been a roller coaster ride with mostly "downhill rides". Emotionally very challenging. Matters involving my work, church and personal stuffs.

I woke up on the morning of the 2nd day of CNY, only to realise that its just the 2nd day! What a boring week and such a drag! I believe that it wasn't the event that was boring but rather my "changed expectations". Things have changed, the situation is no longer the same. Gone are the good ole days!

When I was a kid, to primary school to teenage...CNY has always been filled with excitement and the sense of "looking forward to the gambling sessions" have always been ahead of me. But now, there is no such fire anymore. My passion, my desires, my wants, my needs...all have changed. Someone recently commented that I am a "totally changed person"! Sigh.

So, the first few main days of CNY...they are gone and done! How will it be next year? And then, someone asked me what I will be doing on Feb14. I told him to go read my blog. haha. But suddenly, an old saying from my sales training days popped out. It says, "take care of your clients, otherwise someone else will". Sigh.

I am really being tested almost to the max, almost fully stretched and running thin on tolerance and patience. Everybody wants an answer from me and so many decisions need to be made. What should I do? How should I do? And most of all...WHEN SHOULD I DO IT?

To all Chinese celebrating this CNY, here is wishing you Gong Hei Fatt Choy!

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day has never been a day that I'd make special plans or anything like that. To me, its a day where florist come out to sell rosses at "cut-throat" prices and still, there are buyers year in year out. Nice restaurants would be jam-packed with couples...all trying to be "romantic" with their partners. If I want to be romantic with my partner, I wouldn't just do it ONCE a year on Feb 14. I can be as romantic as I want with my baby all year round. Almost everyday can be a Valentine's Day!

And if I really want to plan something special, I'd either do it a day before or a day after the actual Valentine's Day. Why? Cause on actual Valentine's Day itself, everything is super expensive and super pack with couples. And I hate the mad rush and the frantic crowd. I mean, if I want to do Valentine's Day, I would want romance in the air...meaning...peace, silence, no big movements, no one shouting around, cool air, soft music, etc. And I won't get that ambience on Feb 14!!!

Anyway, for you guys out there...Happy Valentine's Day!

The Human Race : A Unique Species

The Bible says that God created man in his own image (Genesis 1:27).

Sometimes I look into the mirror, I see a reflected image of myself and I started to wonder if God really looked anything like this fella in the mirror. I mean...I am weak, I am emotional (I mean I do have feelings of both good and bad), I make mistakes, I say wrong words, etc. If God really made me in his own image, then why am I not perfect or at least anything near perfect?

The simple fact is this : cause all of us have a "sinful nature" of some sort inside us. And that is precisely why we humans make all sorts of mistakes, say all sorts of wrong words and stuffs like that.

But nobody likes to be told that he is wrong. LOL. Yes, you can laugh about that but as you laugh, you are also laughing at yourself! And very seldom would anyone be humble enough to admit, let alone see, his own mistakes and weakneses. Most of the time, its always "the other fella" that is in the wrong. That is why we see the human race as a very unique type of species. Its the most intelligent lifeform here on earth but yet, filled with shortfalls everywhere. If we care to look into these issues, we will realise that we still have so much to learn and to mature up.

Like I have mentioned in my earlier post, that life is a journey. And "learning"... is a life-long journey. I have read this great book, "The Purpose Driven Life" by renowed author, Rick Warren. In his book, he mentioned a few pointers on how you can possibily make your life "more harmonious" with other humans, especially in a relationship.

1. Focus on what we have in common, not our differences - This is the best and easiest method to avoid conflicts. To focus on the strength that we have, not on the weaknesses.
2. Be realistic in your expectations - Longing for the ideal while criticizing the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension.
3. Choose to encourage rather than to criticize - It is always easier to stand a side and be served and complain that the food is no good. Always try to understand the root or main cause of the incident. Do not be quick to judge or criticize. In many cases, a few words of encouragement would do wonders compared to blasting out words of criticism.
4. Refuse to listen to gossips - What others do, what others think...may not necessarily be the same set of actions for you. Different situation warrens for different set of stratergy and more often that not, the deep main reason is always never discovered.

And lastly, my personal favourite..."be slow to anger but quick to pamper". It works all the time! But to be "swallow to anger" is never easy let alone having to throw in a "pamper"!!!

So next time, whatever you do, always think and study the cause and the effects of the overall thingy. Try to take some time to understand and study what your partner did and why he reacts in such a manner.

Its 4:30am now...I am too tired to think of anything else now. Good night!!! Jalja!

Gong Hei Fatt Chot

Babyboss Pictures and all its staff wishes everyone a Happy & Blessed Chinese New Year. May the year of the rat brings you prosperity and good health. Have lots of fun!

I have been rather busy lately and as such, not much time to post up anything!

More will come!